Everybody lies…7 steps to getting the truth out of someone

According to Dr. Phil McGraw of popular health talk
show ‘Dr Phil’, everyone lies. He says that people lie
an average of three times in the first 10 minutes
that they’re trying to get to know each other.
A recent survey revealed that men lie six times a day
and women lie 3 times a day. Some lies are small
(“You haven’t aged one bit!” or “Sorry I’m late, but
traffic was horrible!”), but others, like infidelity,
can destroy a relationship.
The truth is if you’re close to someone who isn’t
trustworthy or you’re the one who’s not being
transparent, you can start making a change with Dr.
Phil’s 7 strategies compiled byBeliefnet :
1. Start by Being Honest with Yourself: The most
destructive lies we tell are the ones we tell
ourselves. When you lie to yourself, you’re
really crippling your ability to interact with
the world because how you present yourself to
the world impacts how you are treated in
return.
2. Negotiate for What You Want — Don’t Just Try
to Take it With a Lie: For example, if you
want a baby, going off the pill and tricking
your spouse into getting you pregnant is not
the way to go! Every lie has a cost. Instead of
going about it the wrong way, try pushing for
what you want in a mature, straightforward
way.
3. You Teach People How to Treat You: You are
complicit in someone else’s deception when
you are willfully blind. Is it clear as day that
your partner is cheat*ng but you turn a
cheek? If you’re in denial, then you are
teaching someone he can get away with lying
to you. Are you willing to settle for what
you’re doing, or do you want to teach someone
that you deserve
4. People Who Have Nothing to Hide, Hide
Nothing: If something doesn’t feel right to
you, it probably isn’t. And for every rat you
see, there could be 50 you can’t. When
someone gets caught lying, it’s likely there
are more.
5. You Can’t Change What You Don’t
Acknowledge: Be real with yourself and with
your partner. Be honest with yourself about
whether somebody is using you or
misrepresenting things to you. Of course that
will be painful and could leave you feeling
betrayed, but you can’t move forward until
you recognize what’s going on. That takes
courage and strength; you may surprise
yourself with both when you start to get real.
6. Be Forthcoming When You Start a
Relationship; Ask for the Same in Return: If
you’ve got a secret, it’s probably going to come
out eventually. So if you think things in your
relationship might get serious, you might as
well be honest from the beginning. Likewise, if
you have trust issues because you’ve been
burnt before, you might say from the get-go:
“Listen, I’ve been deceived before. So if I
seem a little stand-offish or a little
suspicious, let me tell you why. I want you to
understand where I’m coming from because
I’ve got nothing to hide. I hope you’ll do the
same.
7. Give a Loved One the Chance to Earn Your
Trust Back — if He/She Deserves it: It is
possible for your friend or partner to change,
but he’s got to earn your trust back one step
at a time while you have your eyes wide open.
Once he owns it, stops justifying it, and shows
that he’s willing and capable of building a
new history, you can start trusting again.